I can't breathe out the right side of my face
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Randomize
