What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
