and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
