That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
