dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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