I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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