that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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