I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
