She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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