I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Someone signed my nipple.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
