my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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