woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I can't put those talents on a resume
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
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