That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
