So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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