don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
foreskin is a definite game changer
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
