the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
