I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
