I'm really into asian looking animals
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize