I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Randomize
