Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
