I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
