He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
