your thong is hanging out like whoa
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
