went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize