yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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