I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
