I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
