Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
