i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
