i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
