this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize