how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
