I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Randomize
