Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
