I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
