WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
