Your dad touched me again.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
