I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
