my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Do you still have your period?
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
