dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Randomize
