Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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