Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
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