she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
another moral hangover. fuck.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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