he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
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