I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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