there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
i think my cat just said my name.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
