so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
