as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Randomize
