I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Can I color on your dick again?
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
