..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
