Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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