Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize