I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize
