she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize