I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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