Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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