if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
