is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
