trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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