i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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